I know I’ve written about this before. Maybe several times. And I’m pretty sure I’ll write about it a million more times. Because it’s incredibly easy to get lost in my own life, my own problems, my own family, my own relationships, etc., etc., etc.
It’s too easy to lose perspective.
Maybe I need to constantly remind myself of this in order to keep my new-found clarity. Maybe this is how I allow myself to be happy.
By stepping outside of myself and becoming connected to the rest of the world.
By simply just appreciating what is.
By not getting caught up in everything else.
Yes, it’s extremely easy to say. It’s extremely easy to even believe I’m doing it. But I’m usually not. And there are several moments today that have made that very clear to me how important it is for me to be here and not anywhere else…
This morning a friend of mine accidentally ran over his dog as he was leaving his driveway. They rushed the dog to the vet and were told that he has a broken femur. And that the cost of surgery (which would need to take place an hour+ away) would cost 3-4 thousand dollars. I immediately paused what I was doing and just… cried. I can’t imagine having my beloved pet in critical condition and dealing with what I’m sure are immense emotions knowing that I was the one who accidentally ran him over.
The dog is in surgery now. They are trying to raise money to pay for his surgery. But it’s not about the money. There will always be more money. And more money to owe. My heart breaks for them and I have hope that their precious dog will make a full recovery.
Just a few moments ago I looked at facebook and saw this blog post: I Decided to Give my Paycheck to a Facebook Friend with Breast Cancer.
This women lives in my area. Her daughter is a year older than my oldest daughter. Again, as I read this I just cried.
Then there is Humans of New York (HONY). If you haven’t seen any of this, it’s beautiful. Brandon, a photographer, walks around NYC and takes portraits of people he comes across. He also adds quotes and short stories from the people he meets. I honestly can’t even put into words the emotion and depth that these portraits and stories capture. I follow HONY on facebook as well, and daily I find myself crying when his posts come up in my feed.
I cry a lot actually.
I used to view it as weakness and I hated crying but now I embrace it. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m sad.
If anything, it means that I’m alive. And that my capacity to feel empathy and compassion for others is not something I should stifle.
I could spend every day for the rest of my life wishing my life was different, complaining about how unfair it is, being miserable. I know there are changes that I could make that might very well lead to happiness for me. I also know change is scary as hell.
I’m not ready to make those changes. But I don’t have to allow myself to wallow in things I’ve chosen not to do anything about.
I’ll continue to put myself out there emotionally. I’ll continue to have empathy and compassion for everyone – including myself. I’ll continue to do everything within my capabilities to help those around me. And to help myself as much as I am capable to.
Life is tough. For me. For everyone.
If I can stay outside of my own head and look around me, I can see that. And, in seeing that, I can gain some perspective and acceptance.
There are no guarantees. There are no promises. As much as we want them.
All we have is now.
And, if I really look, now is pretty great.